Jess Read online

  Jess

  Copyright © 2014 by Pauline George

  Acknowledgments

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  About the Author

  Other Yellow Rose Books

  Visit Us On Line

  Jess

  by

  Pauline George

  Yellow Rose Books

  by Regal Crest

  Texas

  Copyright © 2014 by Pauline George

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. The characters, incidents and dialogue herein are fictional and any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  ISBN 978-1-61929-139-3 (eBook)

  eBook Conversion January 2014

  First Printing 2014

  9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  Original cover design by Donna Pawlowski

  Cover design by Acorn Graphics

  Published by:

  Regal Crest Enterprises, LLC

  229 Sheridan Loop

  Belton, TX 76513

  Find us on the World Wide Web at http://www.regalcrest.biz

  Published in the United States of America

  Acknowledgments

  I would like to thank Cathy Byerose who had faith in me. All the team at Regal Crest: AcornGraphics for the great cover, Verda for making the editing process so easy--Jess is all the better for your work--and Patty for putting up with all my silly questions.

  Special thanks go to Helen--the best sister in the world, Sue, Lisa, Julie and Bev for reading and helping me get Jess ready for going out into the big wide world. My Mum and Dad--who isn't around to see my success--both of them gave me my love of reading, their love and support.

  Thanks also to Joy Swift MBE of Joy Swift's Original Murder Weekends for allowing me use her name and the description of one of her plots in Jess.

  Dedication

  To G this much times a million.

  Chapter One

  HI, MY NAME is Jess. God, it sounds as if I'm at an AA meeting--not that I've ever been to an AA meeting--don't get me wrong, I've nothing against AA meetings. I guess they do a good job. I mean, I don't really know, as I said I've never been to one.

  But, hey, I digress.

  What I really wanted was to introduce myself to you. This is my story, if you're interested. Well, I think it's interesting, but then I would. I mean, I'm actually living it and it seems pretty good to me. So, I guess you want to know a bit about me and where I live? Well, I work in public transport and have a fantastic job as a signal operator. Oh, great, I hear you say. Yes, it's just like playing with a giant train set and so much fun. I live in Croydon which, for the uninitiated, is just outside London. I live across the road from a lovely park where I go for walks in the sun, when we get some. Don't you just love the great English weather? I'm lucky enough to have my own house, but not so lucky in the way I got it. Our parents died in a road accident and left the house to me and Josie. Because Josie already had her own house with her partner Ivan, I bought her out and now it belongs to me. Well, me and the mortgage company. I like to play the field a little, okay a lot, but what is life if it's not for living? Although Josie wouldn't agree, she reckons my life is quite sad.

  "Jess, I really think you should settle down. You don't look happy."

  She thinks my life's sad because I haven't settled down. Oh boy.

  "Okay, Josie. Why do you think I look unhappy?"

  Josie thought for a moment. I swear I could see all the little cogs inside her head working away. We were sitting in my kitchen at the big pine table just chilling, I thought, enjoying each other's company. The kitchen is my favourite room. It's not as big as the one in Mel's place, but it's okay. I can only seat four of us at the table so when there's a crowd we go into the dining room. I decorated the walls in a warm sunshine yellow with a white ceiling, doors and surrounds. My units are pine with black granite work surfaces and a butler sink. At one end of the kitchen are large double doors leading out to the garden and I love to open them whenever I can, to let the garden in so to speak. My next project is to put a patio outside so I can eat alfresco and have a few barbecues. The table sits right by the door, so when it's open I feel like I'm in the garden as well as the kitchen. Josie comes round a lot and has her own key. I sometimes wonder if that was a mistake on my part. Only kidding, I love my little sister, even when she likes to have a go at me, which she is about to do.

  "Well you're not with anyone," she said, with no real conviction.

  My wonderful sister--well she is sometimes--thinks that to be happy you have to be with someone.

  "In fact, you're never really with anyone."

  She fooled me. She had given this a lot of thought. Boy, did that one sting.

  "Okay, not at the moment, but I'm sure it won't last."

  I think I'm what they call a serial monogamist. Yes, honestly. I'm only with one person at a time. The trouble is, that time is never very long. I usually last a couple of weeks then move on to the next one. At this rate, there'll be no lesbians left I haven't had a relationship with. Mind you, you can hardly call a couple of weeks anything more than a fling. Perhaps there's something wrong with me if I can't make a relationship last more than that.

  "So, Oracle Sister of mine, what's wrong with me?"

  Not sure I really meant to say that out loud. Oh shit, too late. Josie's thought process was starting up and there would be no stopping it now.

  "Well, first off, stop being so sarcastic."

  Was that it? If I stop being sarky all my troubles will be cured? I must have looked smug--I do that occasionally--because she gave me her very best stare. Boy was I in trouble now.

  "No, it won't cure all your troubles."

  I could hear the pain in her voice. Just how did she know what I was thinking?

  "All I'm saying is stop being sarky to me. I don't deserve it."

  "Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." I gave her my best I'm really, really sorry look.

  "And don't think you can get away with it by doing your--I'm so sorry--look on me."

  Josie is obviously not impressed with me at the moment. But she's my little sister. She loves me really.

  "Look, what I'm saying is that you don't give yourself time for a break in between relationships."

  I got up to put the kettle on. I needed time to think about what she'd said. Some conversations have to be had with copious amounts of tea, and I could tell this was going to be one of those. While I made the tea I tried to think about my situation and how I'd got in this not so good place. I poured two mugs of tea, put them on the table, and got the biscuits. You can't have tea without dunking a dozen or so.

  "Look, Sis, I'm never with anyone long enough to worry about having a break in between."

  I dunked my biscuit and popped it into my mouth. No, not the whole thing, I'm not a complete moron. I just broke a mouth sized piece off and dunked it. I can be quite genteel when I want.

  "Yeah, well, maybe that's the problem. Ever since that bitch, Sue, you haven't been able to go the distance with anyone."

  "It's got nothing to do with Sue. That was finished over a year ago now."


  "Oh, don't give me that crap," she said. "You know very well you've not been able to trust anyone since her."

  Josie was really on one now. She had her counselling hat on and the session was about to begin.

  "Don't forget, I was there picking up the pieces she scattered to the four winds."

  "Yeah, I know, and I'm really grateful. But I'm over her now."

  "I wish I could believe you. I think you need to find someone really special who'll be good to you, treat you as an equal. Not like a little puppy dog."

  Josie could really hit the nail on the head and it usually felt like mine.

  "Sue would say jump and you'd ask, how high?"

  "And where am I going to find that special someone?" I asked in my best sarcastic voice, which I immediately knew was a big mistake. I tried to retrieve the situation. "Sorry, Josie, I didn't mean to say it like that."

  "Okay, I'll let you off this time."

  That was a close call.

  "You need to get out and meet women to talk to. Get to know them first, not jump into bed the minute you've set eyes on them."

  She was right as usual. I did jump into bed quicker than you could say sex, but I wasn't going to let her know how right she was.

  "Of course I can be with someone without jumping into bed on the first date." I hoped I sounded more convincing than I actually felt.

  Mind you, I've had more than my fair share of sexual encounters. Thinking about it though, most of them left me feeling empty and wanting more. Not more sex, you understand, although that would be really great. No, what I mean is, I was usually satisfied, yes. Thinking about it now I was, sort of. But I always felt empty afterwards, like there was something missing. I guess it was the kind of thing Sue and I'd had. We'd had a relationship, sex, love, companionship and friendship. She was my best friend, my lover. She was also a liar and a cheat, but hey, her loss. Still, at least I know I'm capable of having a meaningful relationship and that it lasted four years. Not bad eh?

  I must have said that last bit out loud, because my little sister decided to give me her take on it.

  "Look Jess, you and Sue were good together, while it was good."

  Wow, my sister sure can be incisive.

  "But--"

  Yes, there had to be a but.

  "She really fucked with your head. You just don't have the confidence to go into another long-term relationship. You think you deserve to be treated badly and when you're not, you don't know how to handle it."

  Josie could really get to the crux of it.

  "I can have a long meaningful relationship if I want," I said a little petulantly, but trying to sound confident.

  "Yes you can, I know that, but will you? Personally, I don't think you can go out with someone without jumping their bones first and ruining the possibility of more."

  I heard the sadness for me in her voice. That kind of put my back up, it was a challenge. Little sis had thrown down the gauntlet. Did I have the courage to pick it up? Yes. I would prove her wrong. I would do it.

  "Of course I can." "All right then prove it. The next woman you fancy you've got to woo her." "Oh I say old bean, I have to woo her," I said, in a mock posh accent.

  "Yeah okay, I didn't mean it quite like that. I just mean you should get to know her before you jump her bones, but she's not allowed to know what's going on. This is just between us."

  "God, Josie, you really know how to pile on the pressure."

  I was banking on the fact that I could let this woman know, get her to go along with it so I could prove Josie wrong. Yes, I know it's devious. But don't you think Josie's being devious too? No? Okay, I guess you're right. She's just looking out for me. What she doesn't know is I fancy two of her mates. At least I could go out with them and not jump straight into bed, although I'm sure they're curious. However, I'm not into the experiment, straight women who want to try it out, just to see what it's like. Mind you, Katie's really hot and I would gladly experiment with her any day and all day long. Ah, well, I can dream can't I?

  "Okay, you're on. The next time I see a really hot woman, I'll take it very slowly and see how it goes."

  I made a decision that I'd give it a go. I've been on my own too long, feeling sorrier for myself than I would admit to anyone. I mean, how hard can it be to abstain from sex? A friend of mine went three years without sex. Well, two person sex. She was Duracell's best customer. I'd have a hard time lasting three days. But that was going to have to change. Josie was right, I couldn't treat women in the cavalier fashion I had been if I wanted a chance at happiness. I needed to be more responsible. Big word I know, but I should treat women with respect, which also meant having more respect for myself. I had to be less shallow. As it stood now, a puddle had more depth than me.

  "So how are we gonna fix me up? I'm sure Katie and Shelley would be up for it." I so loved teasing Josie.

  "Forbidden territory. I know you fancy Katie, but she's off limits and she's married."

  How did she know I fancied Katie? I swear she's a mind reader. Still she took it all in good part.

  "Yeah, but--"

  "No, Jess, leave Katie alone. I'm serious."

  "It's all right, the only thing I'll be doing with Katie, is giving her a friendly hug when she's down. You know me, the ever willing shoulder to cry on."

  "Sorry for getting heavy, but you know she's having marital problems at the moment."

  "I'm not surprised with that husband of hers."

  "So let's leave Katie out of it then. There are plenty of other women for you to choose from."

  Now I'm for it. I've taken up Josie's challenge and I can't back down. I mean I really don't want to prove my little sister right. She's nearly always right and that pisses me off. Actually, to be fair, it's more the fact that I'm wrong than she's right that pisses me off. I'm supposed to be wiser and the one who's always right. I've earned it, I'm the oldest. Trouble is Josie's twenty-five going on forty, whereas I'm twenty-eight going on twelve. She had to grow up quickly when our parents died. I just went to pieces while she kept it and me together. Now she's really got her life sorted. She knows where she's going and what she's going to do when she gets there.

  She's got Ivan, her partner, a great fella who absolutely adores her. What wouldn't I give to have a female version of him? Still, I'm very lucky in that she's embraced my sexuality and my friends, hence the fact that we all go out together on many occasions. Josie's friends are great. I get on with them really well, especially as they take my flirting all in good fun. Katie, Shelley and Lou, Josie's best friends, really enjoy gay pubbing and clubbing. I think it's because they know there won't be any guys hitting on them. Yes, I know what you're going to say, what about the girls hitting on them? Well, I told them to say, "Thanks for asking and I'm very flattered, but I'm straight." It's much nicer than telling them to fuck off and it saves any bad feeling. My mates, Mel, Lisa and Lori, are used to the straight girlies, as they call them, and love to tease them. We have such a laugh when we're at Nexus, our local gay club. Whenever there's a slow dance, we pair off gay and straight, as if we're starring in Dancing with the Stars. It's great fun and gives everyone else a laugh. Most of the regulars at Nexus are used to our crowd and we all have a wicked time. Trouble is I'm sure there's a bit of Josie that thinks I'm seriously trying to get off with her mates. She likes to give me the evil eye occasionally, just like a friendly shot across the bow. I keep telling her that it's just a bit of fun, but I guess she remembers that night at Nexus when I started to fancy Katie. I hoped she hadn't noticed, yes all right I'm getting to it, I know you're curious.

  Well a few months ago...

  "WHO'S UP FOR Nexus on Saturday?" I asked the gang in the pub. We were all there for our regular mid-week session, me, Josie, Mel, Lou, Shelley, Lori, Katie and Lisa.

  "Sounds great," Katie replied.

  "Yeah, count me in too," Lou said.

  "All right hands up who doesn't want to go," I said, there was no response.

  "G
reat, let's meet here about eight thirty for a couple of drinks and hit the club about ten."

  A general murmur of agreement followed.

  We never went to the club earlier than ten. If you got there before that it was empty and no talent, but after and it was so full you couldn't get one of the good spots, which was just on the outside of the action, but where you could still watch it all. There were a couple of leather sofas and a few tables and we usually tried to grab one of those. The girlies had to have somewhere for their handbags, and I don't mean just the straight girlies. Me, I just put all I need into my jeans pockets and I'm away. I don't have makeup and stuff like that to worry about.

  Okay, okay, I guess you want to know what I look like. Well, I'm no oil painting as they say, but I guess I'm passable. This is what Josie has to say on the matter, "you have a nice open face, full sensuous kissable lips--the lips bit was what one of her friends said, but she won't say which one--short spiky blonde hair, too short for my liking, reasonable figure, curvy not skinny." Okay, here's the official version. I'm five foot seven tall, with a fuller curvy figure. I could do with losing a few pounds but I'm lazy and love my food. Yes, my hair is short, but it's great for me, despite what Josie said. I'm not one for doing the blow-dry thing when I go out now I've found a style to suit me. It's great. The blonde is out of a bottle and I like it best when the roots show as it gives it a nice two-tone effect. So who do I look like that you guys might recognise? Think of Kylie, no just kidding, I'm nothing like her. Actually I look more like Shane from The L Word with blonde hair. And I guess I'm like her in character at the moment. You know, love '˜em and leave '˜em. Yes, I know, that's got to change. Also I'm not as skinny as Shane, definitely not as skinny, wish I was. I like that whole slim boyish look, at least on me. I like my women to have a bit of meat on them.